We met sometimes last month on a social networking site. We got along talking on d fone 4a while. He told me he didnt have serious relatiuonship like wise me.
One day he culd not stand without seeing me so he drove down for 2 hrs to come and see me. It was a weekend. I was first scared to follw him becos i knw i really had feeling s for him. He told me he knw i was scared but he too wuld control himself. We drove  back to where he was chilling ( not where he was staying. He likes to travel so he goes to diff places whn he is not working). After so many romance, we ended up  making love.
We r 2gether thru out d wkend. He brought me back on Monday. We got along on the fone. He told me he doesnt like to pick calls whn he he is driving so if he doesnt pick my call it means he doesnt see it and if he rejects it, it means he is not convinient for him to pick it but he sees it.
He just lost one of his first cousins due to fatal accident. Out of no time whn he came to Lag last friend to see the family, he came to my place to see me. he apologised that he knw he has kept me waiting and that hes sorry he wuld leave me again but he wuld make it up to me. I cried cos i love him and culdnt stand him leaving me again. He confessed to me that for the first time someone is in love wit him truly.
His past rship was bad becos his fiancee left him after 3yrs to marry his friend becos she said he was asthmatic. He told me he has been playing ard since so wit me he has found ytrue love. He told me that he wuld need to move a fast move for m eto meet his pple. His parents r late and he is the only son so his family has been pressurizing him to get married.
That friday, he promised to come and pick me after Sunday service that we wuld be 2gether so that we can have time for each other since he has not created time for him all the while. On Sunday during service i called him to knw hw far, there was noise where he was and i culdnt hear him. After service his # was off.
I tjot  he had flat battery. I waited the whole day for  him, i sent pings but not delivered. I became so worried praying nothing bad  had happened to him. Around, 11pm, i just woke up to check my fone and i saw dat all my pings had delivered and he had read dem. He didnt reply any.
On Monday, i called him thru out he didnt pick up. Attimes he wuld reject my calls. I felt so bad that i couldnt control my tears again. I begged him, said so many things morning,  noon & nite. No words, no calls from him.
I got angry, i deleted his contact. I made up my mind that it was over that mayb i had used me or something. I planned to move on.
Yester morning around 630 whn i was going to work, my fone rang and i was suprised he called him, i didnt knw wot to say. He asked me where i wwas and i told him i was on my way to work. Asked him if hes fine, he said as soon as i got to work i shld let him knw.
Whn i got to work, i called him he didnt pick again. Thru yesterday,  he didnt pick or call me. Till ds moment.
I dont  knw the meaning of all these. I love him truly i wont deny that. He told  me he was scared of him losing me so he didnt want long courtship cos he needs to settle down ASAP. I am desperate abt marriage he is the one talking abt it.
I dont knw y he doesnt want to talk to me. Isent a ping to him that even if a woman is involved, he culdnt be wit the woman the whole day and atleast he can excuse himself and talk to me for 1mins.
I dont knw wot to do. Am  very sorry for my long story but i need serious advise.
Guys please wot do u think he is doing or up to. Please no abuses or insult.
Thank u

I can feel your pains,but seriously you have to stop calling him for now. IMO if there is anything wrong with him he should inform you duly instead of putting you through so much heartache.

Don't appear desperate to him,face your job and when he's ready hw will contact you. You are worth more than this.

More Blessings

Guys please wot do u think he is doing or up to. Please no abuses or insult.
Thank u

Phocking someone else of course!

The last thing you should do as a female is to pick up your phone to call a man who does not want to call you.



The man don phock finish na. Weitn else to do?
He has jumped to the next one. Please, learn to do the same.
As he was 'blowing' all his lies to get into your underwear. . . you should have done the same.


You should not care what he is doing. Dog wey sabi im master musto h-answer im wissso!

Looky hia! Men are fond of playing those mind games. The reason I teach all women never to put all their eggs in one pocket.

Love is not stupidity or neediness. Learn to play the game too. Ignore him if he ignores you. If he is still 'phockabale'. . .please, use him for that purpose only. Till you find a correct 'replacement'. . .then boooosheeet his arzzzzzzzzzze!

Please, use protection with all this 'pay as you go' romances and recharge SIM cards o! If you wanno catch a disease. . .at least get married, so someone can at least cry for you and bury you if you quench!


Thank you too! 

You were too cheap. He has shagged you and is off to shag another woman. Hope you have learnt your lesson? move on cos he's moved on.

I think you blew it the time you allowed him bang you on a first date in a hotel. He will think you are sooooo cheap and desperate.

Thank u all for ur advise. i knw i screwed up.

baby.me:

I can feel your pains,but seriously you have to stop calling him for now. IMO if there is anything wrong with him he should inform you duly instead of putting you through so much heartache.

Don't appear desperate to him,face your job and when he's ready hw will contact you. You are worth more than this.

More Blessings

Thank you i really appreciate ur words

jennykadry:

You were too cheap. He has shagged you and is off to sleep with another woman. Hope you have learnt your lesson? move on cos he's moved on.

Ahhhh Jenny . . . . . 'Love' makes you do silly things!

At end of the day we appear cheap, used, desperate e.t.c . . . when all you wanted was to share this beautiful feeling with someone you think gets it!

The pains of unrequited love . . . it can drive a person crazy!

Iremi:

We met sometimes last month on a dating site. We got along talking on d fone 4a while. He told me he didnt have serious relatiuonship like wise me.
One day he culd not stand without seeing me so he drove down for 2 hrs to come and see me. It was a weekend. I was first scared to follw him becos i knw i really had feeling s for him. He told me he knw i was scared but he too wuld control himself. We drove back to where he was chilling ( not where he was staying. He likes to travel so he goes to diff places whn he is not working). After so many romance, we ended up making love.
We r 2gether thru out d wkend. He brought me back on Monday. We got along on the fone. He told me he doesnt like to pick calls whn he he is driving so if he doesnt pick my call it means he doesnt see it and if he rejects it, it means he is not convinient for him to pick it but he sees it.
He just lost one of his first cousins due to fatal accident. Out of no time whn he came to Lag last friend to see the family, he came to my place to see me. he apologised that he knw he has kept me waiting and that hes sorry he wuld leave me again but he wuld make it up to me. I cried cos i love him and culdnt stand him leaving me again. He confessed to me that for the first time someone is in love wit him truly.
His past rship was bad becos his fiancee left him after 3yrs to marry his friend becos she said he was asthmatic. He told me he has been playing ard since so wit me he has found ytrue love. He told me that he wuld need to move a fast move for m eto meet his pple. His parents r late and he is the only son so his family has been pressurizing him to get married.
That friday, he promised to come and pick me after Sunday service that we wuld be 2gether so that we can have time for each other since he has not created time for him all the while. On Sunday during service i called him to knw hw far, there was noise where he was and i culdnt hear him. After service his # was off.
I tjot he had flat battery. I waited the whole day for him, i sent pings but not delivered. I became so worried praying nothing bad had happened to him. Around, 11pm, i just woke up to check my fone and i saw dat all my pings had delivered and he had read dem. He didnt reply any.
On Monday, i called him thru out he didnt pick up. Attimes he wuld reject my calls. I felt so bad that i couldnt control my tears again. I begged him, said so many things morning, noon & nite. No words, no calls from him.
I got angry, i deleted his contact. I made up my mind that it was over that mayb i had used me or something. I planned to move on.
Yester morning around 630 whn i was going to work, my fone rang and i was suprised he called him, i didnt knw wot to say. He asked me where i wwas and i told him i was on my way to work. Asked him if hes fine, he said as soon as i got to work i shld let him knw.
Whn i got to work, i called him he didnt pick again. Thru yesterday, he didnt pick or call me. Till ds moment.
I dont knw the meaning of all these. I love him truly i wont deny that. He told me he was scared of him losing me so he didnt want long courtship cos he needs to settle down ASAP. I am desperate abt marriage he is the one talking abt it.
I dont knw y he doesnt want to talk to me. Isent a ping to him that even if a woman is involved, he culdnt be wit the woman the whole day and atleast he can excuse himself and talk to me for 1mins.
I dont knw wot to do. Am very sorry for my long story but i need serious advise.
Guys please wot do u think he is doing or up to. Please no abuses or insult.
Thank u

What's happened has happened. I think you should just forget him and move on . . . You took a risk, i didn't work out . . Life goes on!

Ujujoan:

Ahhhh Jenny . . . . . '[b]Love' makes you do silly things!

At end of the day we appear cheap, used, desperate e.t.c . . . when all you wanted was to share this beautiful feeling with someone you think gets it!

The pains of unrequited love . . . it can drive a person crazy! [/b]

What's happened has happened. I think you should just forget him and move on . . . You took a risk, i didn't work out . . Life goes on!

Uju, u can feel my pain. i didnt it for love thinkin we culd start somethg frm dre but it ended in a mess. He played the fast one on me.Kudos to him

What are u really looking for actually? sympathy perhaps?
You are here claiming you love someone you barely even know and it's obvious he played a fast one on you so count your loss and be wise next time

jay bee:

What are u really looking for actually? sympathy perhaps?
You are here claiming you love someone you barely even know and it's obvious he played a fast one on you so count your loss and be wise next time

Aint looking for anything actually. not even sympathy
Ok mayb i had feeling s for him if its wrong saying i love someone i hardly knw.
Just to hv pple advice. I believe wot i hv read so far has really given me the gut to move on.
tx oga

@OP,Lessons learnt yet?

Wud you be able to say NO when and If he comes calling for a piece of of you again ?

Iremi:

Aint looking for anything actually. not even sympathy
Ok mayb i had feeling s for him if its wrong saying i love someone i hardly knw.
Just to hv pple advice. I believe wot i hv read so far has really given[b] me the gut to move on.[/b]
tx oga

Before nko? Where u waiting and counting on him coming back?

.

awwwwwww baby its okay, If you truly love him that much I think you should find a way to meet him and talk things over with, he should let you know where you stand, And men you shouldn't have had sex with him on a first date gosh. I know sometimes we do crazy things when we are in love but it was just a first date gal. And you guys don't have to be rude to her after all no one knows the skeletons you guys have in your cupboards .
And who the hell told you guys you can't fall in love with someone you hardly know?

^^^^
It's practically impossible to fall in love with someone you've only known for a month

you can have feelings for them but surely not love

Also, why are you advising her to arrange another meet up? It's clearly a bad idea as the OP is obviously attracted to this dude and his lies, i'm sure she probably wouldn't be able to resist the second round/doze of mandigo which obviously will bring her back to square 1,2 or whatever.

.

chaircover:

How can you love someone you hardly know?  If you can throw caution to the wind so can he. You gave it all to him in no time and so what is left for him to look forward to?

You are even lucky that he is only avoiding your calls. The callous ones will set their friends up to have a taste of you or abuse the hell out of you when you call him.

The only thing to do now is to gather what is left of your dignity, refrain from calling him, hold your head high and get on with life, making sure that you remember all the lessons that you have learnt from this episode.

Desperate women are a turn off to many men.

Just hold ur words right there or r u my mama now? How does having s3x wit some1 d first day goes wit desperation? if u dont hv reasonable thing to say u can shut the hell up.
Is it a  must u say somethg? U told u i was desperate to have him? I enjoyed the s3x i had wit him and i didnt regret it. I wanted it so get that into ur brain
U can keep ur bleeping remaining dignity to ursef cos i still have the whole of mine.
Next time when u see my post dont ever bother to read let alone contribute.

^^^ seriously you guys make me laugh is love not a feeling? well i have falling in love with someone in just less than 3 weeks so i know what i'm saying

Iremi:

Just hold your words right there or r u my mama now? How does having s3x wit some1 d first day goes wit desperation? if u dont hv reasonable thing to say u can shut the hell up.
Is it a  must u say somethg? U told u i was desperate to have him? I enjoyed the s3x i had wit him and i didnt regret it. I wanted it so get that into your brain
U can keep your bleeping remaining dignity to ursef cos i still have the whole of mine.
Next time when u see my post dont ever bother to read let alone contribute.

Hey,you don't need to address madam CC that way. She is telling you nothing but the truth.You were desperate and he played you for who portrayed yourself to be. You better take the good advice given you here and next time think with your head instead of your punanie

.

@chaircover and jaybee Is love not a feeling? how can you say you can have feelings for someone but not love? love is a deep feeling of affection you have foe someone, in as much as I don't believ in love at first sight I know that a month is enough for you to fall in love with someone

Natasha,,:

awwwwwww baby its okay, If you truly love him that much I think you should find a way to meet him and talk things over with, he should let you know where you stand, And men you shouldn't have had sex with him on a first date gosh. I know sometimes we do crazy things when we are in love but it was just a first date gal. And you guys don't have to be rude to her after all no one knows the skeletons you guys have in your cupboards .
And who the hell told you guys you can't fall in love with someone you hardly know?

tx dear i knw i shld hv done dat the first day. I must tell u dat my last rship ended in Sept and we had s3x last July. Be4 i met ds guy, i had been wit 2 guys but it didnt work out. I must tell u i didnt hv s3x wit any of ds 2. There was one that was desperate to marry me. I wuld go to his house to sleep but NO S3X. So whn we finally broke up cos we aint compatible, i just moved on.
But whn i met ds guy, they way we used to talk on fone, it was as if we hv knwn each other for years. We wuld go back to the 90s and discuss so many tales. Whn we eventually met, i knw i wuld b able to resist him so i went for it.
I love him i wil say that again. I truly love him cos i gave him my heart and i have not regretted it. I think abt him

jay bee:

^^^^
It's practically impossible to fall in love with someone you've only known for a month

you can have feelings for them but surely not love

Also, why are you advising her to arrange another meet up? It's clearly a bad idea as the OP is obviously attracted to this dude and his lies, i'm sure she probably wouldn't be able to resist the second round/doze of mandigo which obviously will bring her back to square 1,2 or whatever.

If u cant fall in love wit some1 in a month dont think another person cant esp a woman.
U r a man so u may not have dat kinda feeling.
For u to knw hw much i love him, if it happens that he comes back and explain to me wot went wrong wit evidence and he is able to do wot i ask him to do, am telling u i wil forgive him and take him back cos he has all i want in a man. Despite his health condition i still love him.
Just admit that

.

baby.me:

Hey,you don't need to address madam CC that way. She is telling you nothing but the truth.You were desperate and he played you for who portrayed yourself to be. You better take the good advice given you here and next time think with your head instead of your punanie

I dont give a Bleep who she is . She is not my mama so u cant spill her truth to  me like dat. Is that they way u advise pple. I have read more posts worse that dat but not in ds manner.
Hw many men did sleep wit be4 u got married? And if u got married as a virgin, congratulations ur reward is in heaven.

chaircover:

Youre taking your anger out on the wrong person babe.

. . . . . and yes it does reek of desparation if you keep on calling someone who clearly doesnt want to speak to you. Move on with your life cos he surely has.

@baby.me no wahala. She is angry. So I understand.  

Aint angry abt anythg just pissed off wit ur post dats all.
Aint even angry wit the dude let alone wot he did to me. Life will definitely go on and life has moved on for me since cos i dont have any cause to get in touch wit him again.
Next time u just dont tongue lash pple anyhw. Weigh ur words be4 u pour it out.

.

Let me apologise for my mistake here.
We didnt meet on dating site. We actually met on a FB am very sorry abt that. I didnt even knw i wrote dating site. So if this is d reason y everybody is saying am desperate, am sorry i called for it
I never discussed marriage with him. he was even the one telling me that time is going as a lady that my priority shld be marriage if he, a guy culd be thinking abt how to settle down. So aint desperate abt getting marriage MADAM
Whn he called me one nite and i told him i was going to club he begged me not to go dat i shld stop dat kinda life style. Honestly i didnt go to club dat nite cos i knw i wuld drink. He has really helped me with my bad life style so i really appreciate him for this.
My friends didnt believe that i culd stop clubbing like that. They said they wuld give me time dat i wuld still come back

Iremi:

tx dear i knw i shld hv done dat the first day. I must tell u dat my last rship ended in Sept and we had s3x last July. Be4 i met ds guy, i had been wit 2 guys but it didnt work out. I must tell u i didnt hv s3x wit any of ds 2. There was one that was desperate to marry me. I wuld go to his house to sleep but NO S3X. So whn we finally broke up cos we aint compatible, i just moved on.
But whn i met ds guy, they way we used to talk on fone, it was as if we hv knwn each other for years. We wuld go back to the 90s and discuss so many tales. Whn we eventually met, i knw i wuld b able to resist him so i went for it.
I love him i wil say that again. I truly love him cos i gave him my heart and i have not regretted it.

That's good to know, I'know how you feel cos its happening to me right now I just fell in love with this guy and its as if I have known him for long and I have never seen him before we just chat and talk on phone I'm scared of expressing my feelings cos I don't wanna make mistakes. You  should try as much as possible to hold your jeans tight cos this days you hardly know who is sincere ok. I really think you should find a means and talk things over, if he gives a good reason for this you can still go ahead with him but if not then forget him and move on I know its difficult but try k

chaircover:

Natasha I feel & care for my next door neighbor but I don't love him.

In this case these people met on a dating site, so first things first she has indirectly told the man that she is looking and is available. That in itself makes her vulnerable to players who just want to take advantage of the situation.

This is a good enough reason to take things one step at a time to get to know the person well before falling head over heels in love with him.

Under the circumstances, I don't think that a 48 hour meeting is long enough to really let your guard down so much as to fall  in love.

Don't get me wrong, love is one of these things that you cannot predict but we owe it to ourselves to protect ourselves from unnecessary heartbreak like what has happened here.

my dear you cannot care or feel  for someone you don't love even if its your next door neighbour although I know that the love you have for a neighbour is different from that of a partner but all in all its still love , to care for someone is to be very concerned about what happens to them, you can't care for someone you don't love my dear

.

OP, having se.x with someone on the first date is a NO NO in gals ethic book don't you know that. dont repeat such mistake again
learn and move on, don't take him back another big NO NO, cheers

Natasha,,:

That's good to know, I'know how you feel cos its happening to me right now I just fell in love with this guy and its as if I have known him for long and I have never seen him before we just chart and talk on phone I'm scared of expressing my feelings cos I don't wanna make mistakes. You  should try as much as possible to hold your jeans tight cos this days you hardly know who is sincere ok. I really think you should find a means and talk things over, if he gives a good reason for this you can still go ahead with him but if not then forget him and move on I know its difficult but try k
my dear you cannot care or feel  for someone you don't love even if its your next door neighbour although I know that the love you have for a neighbour is different from that of a partner but all in all its still love , to care for someone is to be very concerned about what happens to them, you can't care for someone you don't love my dear

Thanks my dear. I dont knw hw u care and feel for someone u dont love.
Mayb dre own definition of love is having s3x wit their neighbour.
I wil be careful wit my feelings next time dear.
He too will knw wherever he is that i love him to care so much abt him ds way. And unfortunately i may b in love wit the wrong person

armyofone:

OP, having se.x with someone on the first date is a NO NO in gals ethic book don't you know that. dont repeat such mistake again
learn and move on, don't take him back another big NO NO, cheers

Thank u sir.

jay bee:

^^^^
It's practically impossible to fall in love with someone you've only known for a month

you can have feelings for them but surely not love

Also, why are you advising her to arrange another meet up? It's clearly a bad idea as the OP is obviously attracted to this dude and his lies, i'm sure she probably wouldn't be able to resist the second round/doze of mandigo which obviously will bring her back to square 1,2 or whatever.

chaircover:

You cant fall in love with someone you hardly know; well not in 48 hours anyway

Lust yes, Infatuation Yes, feelings Yes but not love.

Maybe not love . . . . But there's no doubt that you can form a connection with someone at first sight. A connection so strong that at that point he's all that matters.

Some of these emotions turn out to be lust, some grow into love . . . it all depends on how it was nurtured and handled.

The sex on the first date I had was the best relationship I ever had . . .  the one I took my time to build crumbled like a pack of cards.

Again I say, it all depends on how it was handled.

Even if it's lust, it still doesn't justify the guy's attitude!  

Iremi:

Thank u sir.

, cheers